Sydney Mum finding motherhood is totes hectic
It’s about time I did a list. Everyone is doing them. Parenting is a dirty messy filthy business. There is mess you expect such as lego, books, toys along with cleaning bottoms but its a much longer list of unexpected findings that really puts the mess into your house.
1. Vomit. Dog, cat, child, beast. Despite all the floorboards they like to leave their stomachs on cushions or the nice floor rug.
2. Water. One child will be obsessed by water. As you walk barefoot across the floorboards and hit a wet patch you hope it’s the water child’s mess and not the in-toilet-training child’s mess.
3. Wee, poo and general toilet training mess. I found a fossilized poo in the pop-up princess castle. I don’t know whose it is. That explained that smell from a few weeks back.
4. Attempted bottle and can opening mess. ‘I can open that mummy!” says Miss Independent aged 4. Pop! spill ! mess.
5. Crayon, chalk and pencils. Time for drawing? time to get down on hands and knees and retrieve all those lids, broken ends and other bits that rolled off the table while they
fought over a pencil happily coloured in
6. Present and packaging mess. Bags, instructions, receipts, bag ties, the 17 plastic bits that held the wardrobe of the doll in a complicated box together. Anything from shopping that needs scissors to open they will find a small bit, play with it and leave it somewhere other than the bin.
7. Scissors and paper mess. Miss 4 is allowed safety scissors now. She thinks scissors are for cutting up paper into tiny little bits. Cue a gust of wind and it’s all over the floor.
8. Your handbag. They will find it and pull out everything and scatter it around a bit, while you were having ‘a minute’ in the bathroom. Maybe put your sunglasses or better still the car keys into the toy oven for a week.
9 Cupboards, particularly kitchen cupboards. What fun they can have tossing plates and utensils on the floor. No wait, the roll of garbage bags is better, even still kitchen paper rolls. Wee! look at it roll across the floor!
10. Frustrating Mess. From behind you as you clean up.
11. Bathroom mess. Similar to kitchen mess but wetter.
12. Wardrobe mess. In the push to get them fetching and finding things themselves I can handle socks and shoes tossed out of a wardrobe but not everything off the hangers and on the floor. Hangers take far longer to sort out.
All of which reminds me of two stories my parents would tell us of when we were young, the twins were 2 and I was 4. They were having a nap and thought we were being looked after. We apparently discovered the fridge. Eggs, vegetables, fruit, … all over the floor. The dog was having a good time, said Dad.
Second story? are you ready? the twins slept in a bunk bed. They were put down for a nap aged about 18 months. These were the days of cloth nappies. They didn’t sleep they painted the walls with the contents of their nappies.
I didn’t mention husband mess.. that is a given.