Sydney Mum finding motherhood is totes hectic
Firstly because I can. At half way this knowledge is a great organising option. I know what colours, names and future desires to plan for. Unlike the chaotic parts of my life (dust, taxes and grey hairs) this I can be sure about. Relatives and friends can purchase accordingly. I can click the ‘baby girl’ button on eBay.
I was really geared up for a boy. The Faux Husband’s family is full of boys so I prepared myself for a boy. I found it difficult to learn it’s a girl and some part of me found that hard to let go. Was it the mental preparation or that I would have a boy when my side of the family all had girls? I was having fantasies about making him into a gentleman, teaching him manners, cooking and culture….but mindful of not becoming a scary mummy/ son combo (See ‘Bunny’ in Sex in the City)
The Faux Husband was delighted. A smile broke out on his face he squeezed me tight and started whispering a girl’s name to me, over and over. I stiffened and went to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror I started to cry. It wasn’t just a baby, it was a baby girl, it felt more real, more alive, more our creation. We could name it and think of what life we can give it and she was healthy. The ultrasound was all clear.
I came out and just cried on his shoulder while he hugged me tight. “I’m really glad it’s a girl’ he said “I didn’t get along with my father and I really love girls, much prefer their company” He stroked my face and put my hair back behind my ear. “I think you want a little girl to adore you” I said half laughing to him. ‘Yes’ he replied.
She will be loved, importantly.